111 Questions You Should Ask Before You Get Married!
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Secrets of Egyptian pharaoh Queen Hatshepsut's tomb are uncovered in a fascinating documentary - including Back to top Home News U. If you really think about it, could you put your life ethos into words?
1. "Is This a Person I Can't Live Without?"
How does that mesh with your partner's? It's not as negative of a question as it sounds.
What if one of you gets a dream job offer in Seattle, but you had previously agreed to stay close to your families? Likewise, if your spouse's mother needs to either go to a nursing home or move into your home, are you willing to give up time and resources to allow that? Decide now who can or wants to stay home with kids, who can make a career sacrifice and for how long.
11 Questions You Should Ask Before (And During) Marriage
If one person feels that you spend too much time at the office, can you adjust your workload or give up another commitment in order to spend more time at home? Yeah, differences are great. But if you partner absolutely can't stand something that you love, it's bound to become a dealbreaker as time goes forward. For example, I love country music, and I often date men who don't. At first, we find common ground — but eventually, I get tired of not being able to play the music I like in the car, and I get tired of taking friends to country concerts.
Even if it's just that you love sushi and your significant other doesn't, will you get tired of eating sushi by yourself in 15 years?
Everyone wants to believe that the trust between partners is unbreakable, but the fact of that matter is that trust is very, very breakable. From something small, like snooping through texts, to something bigger like infidelity , how will you deal with it? Talk about the reasons behind divorce and the pros and cons of therapy now, before you're in a high-pressure situation. This is a question to ask both yourself and your partner. While having this discussion, "think about what a therapist would ask," says Behrendt, "someone who doesn't have a personal investment and whose only concerns are your honest motivations and mental health.
When everything leading up to a marriage feels effortless and euphoric, she warns, "you can steamroll over another person because you've assumed that just because you match in many ways, you match in all ways. Take the time to dissect various traditions and tendencies. Which ones are going be part of your newly-formed family's "normal"?
Our love's going to take care of everything,'" says Behrendt. Don't nag and nitpick, but don't shy away from speaking up when something bothers you either. Making accommodations won't feel good every time, and if bad behaviors go on too long, you'll convince yourself they're on purpose—just to F with you. Suddenly something small turns into a wound that keeps getting re-injured.
Steer clear of that by being honest and transparent upfront about the little stuff in addition to the big stuff, because burying it is like "planting landmines for the other person to step on later," Ruotola says. One of you will inevitably be tidier than the other; that doesn't mean the neat freak does all the cleaning. Delegate household responsibilities based on skills and interests, sure, but be sure to switch it up every now and then. If they argue that they're better at a task than you, then you go, 'I know, but I need to be able to do this too.
Do it for your partner, who deserves a break, and for yourself, to avoid what Behrendt calls "learned helplessness" when your other half has particularly dominant, decisive traits.
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Love isn't about memorizing every random piece of trivia about each other. It's about making the effort to continue discovering new tidbits. She changes and grows, and I need to be attuned to that. Leave room for people to change their minds, and be willing to accept that you might not ever "get" why they did.
Good Questions to Ask - The only list you'll need.
Mind-reading is not a pre-requisite for marriage. That being said, you know your partner better than anyone. If you notice an off behavior, especially one with potential to start a fight, consider the real impetus behind it. He gives the example of someone panicking about money or complaining about not having enough sex.