Sonnets: The Old Man, Autism, & Truth

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It's interesting that the poem plays off praise against dispraise. The summer's day is found to be lacking in so many respects too short, too hot, too rough, sometimes too drab , but we are left with the abiding impression that his friend is in fact like a summer's day at its best, fair, warm, sunny, temperate, one of the darling buds of May, and that all his beauty has been wonderfully highlighted by the comparison.

The sonnet is a meditation on mortality and on the way poetry can transcend the ravages of time. Our minutes move ever forward as inevitably and irrevocably as the waves move forward, beating ceaselessly on a beach. A child born in an ocean 'main' of light, like the sun, is faced with eclipse. Youth's beauty is destroyed by age. All things give way to time's cruel hand as he mows down beauty with his scythe. Sarah Knapton in London It has long been assumed that childhood is a time of innocence, free from the shackles of social conformity, when youngsters act naturally on instinct rather than by convention.

Just the kids love it, but not the teacher or mams and dads. The sonnet: Shakespeare and his 'little songs' They are no longer on the school curriculum but Pat Hunt argues that the sonnets should still be treasured November 21 AM. Is Shakespeare a gay icon? There is no reliable evidence for this assertion. Sonnet No. Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Nativity, once in the main of light, Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd, Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight, And Time that gave doth now his gift confound. Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth And delves the parallels in beauty's brow, Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth, And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow: And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand, Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

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Take the last example. Accountants like to follow rules, they like to have clear paths, and they like doing tangible things rather than staring into space or reading a book. But accountants are not the phenomenal types. Maybe this blog post is not politically correct or culturally sensitive or whatever, but we need to start talking frankly about women and Aspergers. Because I have Aspergers. Even after all these years of ranting about it, I am still not sure why people are so resistant to admitting they have Aspergers.

I feel like, who cares? You are who you are — admitting who you are is never going to make things worse. I have a question about this. Is it possible to be an ENTJ and have autism? The E is throwing me off. Posted by Gwenn on March 10, at pm permalink. Aspergers has nothing to do with being inteoverted or not wanting friends.

It has to do with being bad at interacting with people. Every human wants friends. People who find it easy to make friends have a lot. People who find it hard to make friends have a few. People who offend people every time they try to be friends become scared of making friends. People with Aspergers are very sensitive to being offensive.

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We hate offending people. We just have no idea why its happeneing, even when someone explains it to us, so we withdraw because it feels so hopeless to keep trying. Posted by Penelope Trunk on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by Kate on March 12, at pm permalink. Penelope, I had an aspergers boyfriend, age He had no friends except me, and made horrible social gaffs all the time. He just watched in surprise when people reacted to him negatively.

Posted by Athena on September 20, at pm permalink. Posted by Derek Scruggs on March 10, at pm permalink. I believe there are 2 distinct conditions. It is so obvious to me. What does this mean? That the first professional is incompetent? That testing is flawed? That politics and big pharma trumps diagnosis? With an Aspberger diagnosis my experiences and symptoms make sense think like a man? I think that statement is oversimplified. Can one have just autism. Look at severe autistics who are not savants.

Those individuals do not have Aspberger. Posted by Marka on March 10, at pm permalink. Thank you, Derek. Inwould never tell a black person how to use the N word. Why do people tell me how to use the R word? Black people may use the N word, but probably not on their professional blogs. Posted by Jennifer on March 10, at pm permalink. The alternative terms are worse. Posted by Bostonian on March 11, at am permalink. With all due respect, I disagree with your assertion. Are we all made out of sugar all of a sudden!?? Penelope can say what she wants and you can say what you want! Your response was perfect even though I disagree.

I am slower then most people and thats OKAY! I think I smell more flowers because of it! Posted by Rose Daya on March 28, at pm permalink. I never did and never will. There are plenty of other places for that kind of writing. It has a precise definition in the dictionary. I believe the use of it to be applicable here. I understand that people who read this post may find it offensive in the way Penelope uses it. That is, used repeatedly and directly. Posted by Mark W. Bullies are always going to find a way to weaponize legitimate words. As they say you can run but you can not hide.

Posted by Aspie-Autistic on March 14, at am permalink. I am so delighted to have found your Website, PT. I knew hubby had died but I never cared enough to research her. You only live once! God does not exist so: Do What Thou Wilt! Needless to say, I think you and I are on the same page re: Sherry. PS I knew you were a Sagittarius as soon as I laughed at your first joke! Some of the symptoms that you point out do apply to me???

Anywayzzzzz I plan on staying tuned-in to your Blog…You have a new fan!

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I agree with you! The world would be a much simpler place if people just said it as it is. Posted by Jordan on December 20, at pm permalink. Posted by Jesse on January 8, at am permalink. Yes, I was about to mention that. Aspergers is now considered a part of the Autism spectrum, and is a high functioning version.

I admire her honesty. Posted by Grace on May 17, at pm permalink. Posted by Dora on March 11, at am permalink. Penelope, thanks for an amazing read. I believe admitting to your weaknesses is not always going to help, it does help sometimes though. I remember one of my good old friend who could be considered brilliant in every aspect but he was somehow not good at forgetting things that had to be and that made his life a complete mess at times.

Posted by Sidd Pagidipati on April 9, at pm permalink. Posted by Eliscia on June 21, at pm permalink. Aspergers is no longer in the current diagnostic manuals. Some clinicions will diagnose you with Aspergers because they do not agree with the with the elimination of that diagnosis. They do not lose their license if they go against the current manual. Posted by Autistic on June 22, at am permalink. Posted by Penelope Trunk on June 22, at pm permalink. Aspergers is the second cousin of autism. They are close, but not siblings. Not even for at cousins.

Yet, people with aspergers are some of the greatest advocates and protectors of those with non verbal autism. Posted by Beth on March 10, at pm permalink. Using that word is a sign of not understanding what is socially acceptable. She knows exactly what she is doing. Posted by Eva on March 11, at am permalink.

Excuse denied, there is never a good reason to use that word. Being a Nazi and apologising still makes you a nazi , being a sexist and apologizing still makes you a sexist. If you write on this subject you must do it with compassion , these are peoples lives. Posted by Amias on March 11, at am permalink. Especially someone who has children. Posted by Celeste on March 11, at am permalink. I have Aspergers. I am a male.

I have been tested many times for Aspergers, even before it was called Aspergers. Until 8 months ago, I had a normal as my touchstone for navigating all things normal. I am definitely asperger. I do not look retarded. In fact, I was a model for a few years. A well paid, well traveled model. But I am an Asperger. Your blog is refreshing because you throw it right out there. We have to keep it a secret if we are able.

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The Normals make sure the Asperger is treated as much like shit as possible. I have been treated that way many times when it got out I am an Asperger. I think normals are frightened because of the things we are aware of, because of the leaps of logic we make, and are always right. I think a few of the normal males I have had difficulty with were mad because I am smarter than they are AND I dated their girlfriend, and she liked me more than them.

Who knows. I am glad youa re here. I am glad you are so bold and open with this topic. I am glad you inject so much wonderful humor into this subject. I aspire to be a successful blogger, and I hope my writing will eventually be as good as yours is. Posted by David Perkins on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by J. Posted by Jessica from Down Under on March 13, at am permalink. Posted by Anna on March 18, at pm permalink. Big typo! I meant, she was NOT talking about physical looks… Sorry for that typo.

I used to tell people that my Mom was a high functioning engineer. But really, compared to the male engineers, she was.

My oldest daughter is a scientist and on the spectrum. Like my Mom. Like my sisters and brother. Since I grew up with that, I knew how to help her learn strategies to cope. Btw, the R-word is considered very offensive, like N-word bad. You might not have known that, so I wanted to give you a heads up. Hope the sleeping gets better, as always, love your work. Posted by Katt on March 10, at pm permalink. What do I do for a living?

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Correct the mistakes that engineers make, both male and female, one is an asperger, just like me. I have 2 nephews who are diagnosed, and my son was told he has some shadow traits. I probably have ADD, and both of us lack executive function. Posted by Pam on March 10, at pm permalink. Taxes and time are things I have no concept for. I had a Normal as my touchstone for 24 years. She finally got tired of me and found a normal who will give her the life she dreams of. I am doing my best to learn how things like taxes, bills, time and sleep work.

I wish I understood sleep, at least. Sleep is waiting for me in my bed. Better than any lover, she entices me with her sonnets of dreams and pleasure. She promises to take me places no othe rlover has taken me. Sleep is waiting in my bed. I find food for thought in the article and your discussion.

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  • I am identifying with factors such as previous treatment for depression, little ability in understanding others or in social norms. I have to force myself to stay in contact with others as it ultimately does make me feel more secure in the world. Nobody has ever complained that I was too clingy or sympathetic!

    Posted by Carol on March 10, at pm permalink. My husband was one of the people whom you used as your alarm clock and he said it was money well spent. I feel that you are writing a post about me. It only became more obvious I was different in my 40s trying to juggle kids, work and husband. Most of my life I had good guy friends because they said I think like a guy and did not easily get offended. I do not find you using retarded offensive. Should call it for what it is. I think I would have done the same. But now I am accepting that this is how I was made and there are advantages such as hyper focus and the ability to see obivious patterns.

    Posted by Lisa on March 10, at pm permalink. As a married woman, your place at social gatherings is in the kitchen or living room with the other ladies, talking about breastfeeding, what a mess your house is, and kindergarten registration. Posted by Julia on March 23, at am permalink.

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    • How interesting, Julia! I was in a brunch another day when I realized I was the only woman in a group sitting at the kitchen table discussing tech while the women were in the living room talking about kids. Posted by Happy engineer on March 25, at am permalink. I can totally relate. For most of my life, I have always been more socially at ease with males than females. I think a lot of it has to do with how females relate to one another tend to be catty, bitchy, or territorial while men are more direct and easygoing.

      I am engaged now and find it more natural to hang out with my fiance and the guys hanging out on the porch than bonding with the ladies. It was really tough for me growing up. Posted by Joanne on April 9, at pm permalink. Posted by Ellen on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by Olivier on March 11, at pm permalink.

      Yes, you need a like button on here just I can just click it a few hundred times and be done with it. Posted by Eddy Furlong on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by Notsexist on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by K on March 10, at pm permalink. Or female INTJ who stocks grocery store shelves. Thanks for always writing things even if sometimes they may be deranged, offensive, or exposing all your vulnerabilities. Posted by May on March 10, at pm permalink. There are just too many common traits between Autism and other conditions.

      Posted by Aspie-Autistic on March 10, at pm permalink. I have never met a woman with one of these who did not have Aspergers and also all the other things on this list. Aspergers is genetic. So a good way to solve the puzzle is to start with anwoman with one if these and look for Aspergers in the mom or dad. Posted by layla bb solms on March 13, at pm permalink. I have no problem saying that I strongly suspect some people I know, historical figures, celebrities etc are on the spectrum. I will never claim they are Aspies. I did not know intimately as a toddler, I do not know thier inner thoughts, what they are like in private, what they are masking etc.

      Saying somebody like Bill Gates has a lot autistic traits and this shows Aspies can succeed is great. Trying to be helpful by telling another person you think they are on the spectrum can be helpful. Saying definitely somebody is on the spectrum because I think they are is something I do not do. How autistic of me. Posted by Aspie-Autustic on March 14, at am permalink. If someone wants to challenge a professional diagnosis show them a copy of the report of the evaluation that diagnosed you and demand that they explain how they earned the qualifications to say whether or not you met the criteria for your diagnosis.

      Too many uneducated people expect their opinions to be given the same authority as those who went through years of professional training at accredited university graduate schooling and apprenticeship. Posted by Barney Vincelette on March 10, at pm permalink. Posted by me on March 10, at pm permalink.

      Peoples need to tell others that they do or do not have a condition is part of their own rampant egoism. People should leave diagnosis to those qualified to make the assessment. It is considered a spectrum disorder for a reason. And it is probably better understood not as a single spectrum but several interlocking ones.

      Posted by William E. Donges III on March 10, at pm permalink. Its true that no two people with Aspergers are alike. But all people with Aspergers are easy to identify. So if someone violates the pattern for no good reason, its clear that they have Aspergers. For example, if all the girls at prom wear dresses and one wears pants, but the girl who wears pants always dresses like a boy anyway, then the lack of prom dress makes sense.

      The opposite is true when someone uses a formal suffix on their name, like III, in a blog comment. The suffix is a violation of a social rule — the suffix is too formal in comments. The is no logical reason to violate the rule, which means this person does not know they are violating a social rule. Yet I agree with III that autism is a spectrum disorder. Just as gender is a spectrum thing. So what exactly is Baron-Cohen saying? I am referring to the New Scientist article. Posted by Kitty Kilian on March 11, at pm permalink.

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      Behavior on the other hand is always a spectrum, caused in part by both nature or nurture, and is the beauty of human individualism. Posted by Jay on March 14, at am permalink. Gender as a spectrum is scientific fact not an opinion. Posted by Danielle Wright on June 3, at pm permalink. Penelope, I agree with you on every point. Otherwise life will be hell for them. Posted by Nancy Riesco on March 10, at pm permalink. Not every relevant therapy, no. Definitely not ABA, for example. Lots of so-called therapies for autistics are actually harmful. Studies have shown that a more effective therapy is actually to educate the parents on autism.

      You are saying what I have been preaching but nobody wants to listen to me. Since I have adapted well enough to be a single parent, none of my doctors think I could be autistic. I have struggled all my life with OCD, depression, self harm, anorexia, bulimia,and was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos syndrome a few years ago which is now being linked to autism. Posted by Shelley Kapach on March 11, at am permalink. You are handling your life because it is necessary.

      Keep seeking a doctor that will take you seriously. Posted by jessica on March 12, at pm permalink. Autism and IQ are two separate measures. IQ is not part of autism criteria or vice versa. Autism is autism. IQ impacts how you deal with it. Posted by Jo on March 11, at am permalink. Do you think you help them? Other are more androgenic. Posted by Mia on March 11, at am permalink. Myers Briggs is completely discredited in academic training for psychology because it has never been validated. And of course everything is obvious to you because in this little world of boxes your comments rule.

      What people love is listening to someone who tells them they have all the answers and your brand of bullshit is very seductive to many. But all you are doing is putting people into little boxes. People are far more complex than your sweeping generalisations will allow. Posted by Danica on March 11, at am permalink. I agree that Meyers Briggs is not very useful. I also agree that Penelope is not always right about everything.

      But I disagree that she willingly misleads her readers just to make money. Either way, this blog was about how she can often guess people she speaks to in a coaching call might have austistic streaks — and that I am very willing to believe. Even if you did not get a phd in psychology, you are able to recognise autism or depression or mania and lots of other things in others.

      It happens to me all the time, too ;-. If only I could have a relationship where there is conversation from time to time but only when I feel like it!

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      Because that is when I am happiest being alone. I am trying to get to know a person better online we have only met once in person. Maybe I am just too messed up to have a real relationship with anyone…. Maybe I need to explain my mental illness in more detail so he will have a better idea whether he wants to become involved with someone like me. Just because stupid people have used it as an insult does not mean we need to get rid of the word.

      All of which were perfectly good words until political correctness deemed them unacceptable. At least for the next few years. Posted by Omaha1 on March 11, at am permalink. It probably was in the past but it is not now. You might not have racist attitudes but that is how you will be perceived. You might think that is nonsense, you might feel very angry because people are objecting to your use of the word, but that is how it is: the word has become discredited.

      Posted by Ellie on October 11, at am permalink. They are called thought police and social justice warroirs but what it comes down to is that they are bullies. Negro and retarded have become words synonymous with bigots because society let the bullies have thier way. Bullies are never satisfied, once they see you caved in, they will demand more knowing they will get more.

      Autistic is now use as a replacement insult for retard which became politically incorrect. Posted by Autistic on October 11, at pm permalink. It has not absolutely zilch to do with being a bully or a bigot, quite the opposite in fact. You could but you choose not to.

      Okay, your choice, but there are consequences of that choice whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Insisting on using these words just makes the person using them look intolerant and unpleasant. Posted by Ellie on October 11, at pm permalink. If only they said please. This is not this is Usually what follows for using the words negro or colored people or retarded is bieng called a hater or a racist.

      If you are a public figure of any note and use those words there goes your career and you may look forward to having your computer account hacked. It never ends it seems. I have a different view about how to deal with the problem of legitimate words being turned into insults. It is called reappropriation. The hippies turned the insult around and started calling themselves freaks with a sense of pride. I wondered if you would tell me I have aspergers. It was very obvious my sister has it, and it was very offensive to say there was something wrong.

      Now, as an adult she really struggles. I feel like there is a huge difference between aspergers and autism. Having a child who is diagnosed with autism, I can see it. Posted by sarah on March 11, at am permalink. A school that focuses solely on math and science and admits people purely based on their abilities in those fields without regard for gender or ethnicity is a near-perfect filtering mechanism for finding high-functioning folks on the spectrum, of both genders. Posted by Chris Yeh on March 11, at am permalink. Posted by The Dagnosed Aspwhole on March 11, at pm permalink.

      One is an Aspie one or one is not. A diagnosis either self or by a licenced proffessional has nothing to do with it. I was diagnosed at age I did not suddenly become autistic the day I was diagnosed. On the other hand if the clinicion with over 30 years experience with autism misdiagnosed me I am not an Aspie despite the official diagnostic report saying so.